Been avoiding some things lately. Some things that are blatantly obvious in some respects, but seem so daunting and unerving that I’m afraid of them. Things in my own character that, while they are things I think everyone deals with, to me they look impassable… unconquerable.
They are things I wish I didn’t have to deal with. They are so deeply rooted in who and what I am, who and what I have become, that to deal with them and remove them from my life feels like I’m cutting off a body part… but I know I have to.
Well, I say I’ve been avoiding them, but that’s not exactly true, now that I’ve got those words written down. The truth is that I’ve been so focused on them, that I can’t seem to see straight most of the time. I’ve put way too much emphasis on them. They are overwhelming me and I don’t feel like I can breathe sometimes. So, I sit in silence and fret over them… I let them dominate my attention… That’s a downward spiral. A sinking pit. A doomed enterprise. Nothing good can come of it.
It reminds me of something… When a plant has diseased branches, it will expend all kinds of energy and resources trying to heal itself in that area. It focuses as much of it’s attention on that area as it possibly can. Resources are redirected from other areas to the sick area and, eventually, the theft of that energy causes the rest of the plant to become weaker and more diseased, and, in turn, more energy is robbed from healthy areas of the plant in order to heal the growing amount of sick areas…
You can see where this is heading, I’m sure… That’s a downward spiral. A sinking pit. A doomed enterprise. Nothing good can come of it.
Sooner or later, the plant becomes so sick that there are no more healthy areas to rob energy or resources from, and the plant begins to shrivel up and die.
There is hope, though… A good gardener (something that I am NOT - I have a black hole thumb, not a brown one. Everything I touch, that is green, dies) will constantly be inspecting his beloved plants (I’m not a sexist, I promise. It’s just easier for me to think in the male voice - forgive me). He’ll be checking them for disease, rot, and everything else that he knows is bad for them. He’s hands-on, because his garden is his pride and joy, and he loves it. He cares for it and wants the plants to grow and flourish and bear much fruit. Why else would he have planted the garden, if that wasn’t the case?
When the gardener sees the diseased limbs and leaves, and the rot, he immediately begins to do what he can to remedy the problems on his beloved plants. He will snip off the diseased limbs and put a salve on the cut ends to promote the closure of the wound, so the plant won’t continually try to heal that bad spot, while robbing the rest of its healthier areas of their much needed resources. He’ll be spending a great amount of time on that hurt plant, to ensure that it gets strong. He’ll be giving it a lot of attention and hands-on care while it’s healing, and even after it heals, to ensure the diseased area doesn’t come back. And if there are other areas that need help on the plant, he’ll work on those next. Because he loves his garden, and he loves his plants… They are his pride and joy… the apple of his eye… his precious, treasured posessions…
I see this as an object lesson from God. The Great Gardener of my life is pruning the diseased branches because I spend so much wasted energy on them. Constantly focusing on them and condemning myself for them, and being fixated on them… that they are robbing healthy areas of my life of the attention to detail that I need to give to them.
I need to change my perspective. I need to change my focus. I need to focus on God more and see Him as the loving hands-on “Gardener” of my life. He knows what I need, more than I do. I have to look to Him… the author and finisher of my faithfulness. I need to do what He asks of me and let Him handle my shortcomings, while I just concentrate on seeking Him, pursuing Him, longing for Him… walking in His well worn path, and leave the stuff I can’t change on my own, up to Him. Leave my weaknesses in His hands, because His grace is sufficient for me and His strength is made perfect… made complete… in my weakness.
I’m going to need some of my friends to pray for me on this one…